when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
