Just cropdusted the office
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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