I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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