i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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