Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
