i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
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