I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it