I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?