VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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