I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize