if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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