On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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