I have demons in me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
