we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
