taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We smell like vodka and hangover
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