6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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