If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
