it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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