I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
