i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
