I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
