I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
