suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Terrible idea I love it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
