they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize