Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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