She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
