last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize