So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
