Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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