maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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