Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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