So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
