i may or may not be watching the land before time
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
