can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
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My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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