i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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