i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
