dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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