Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
