we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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