Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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