oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
