Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
