So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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