Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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