i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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