waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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