Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
