Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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