she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize