you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
