Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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