I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
