he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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