mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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