So drunk its hurt
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
