So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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