the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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