His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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