Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
