Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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