East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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