problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
