Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
